Downright Daring Life

Value and a good fight

Okay, I'm back.  It was a long and stressful week and I needed a couple of days to rest.  Mom went from almost dying to her insurance wanting to kick her out of the hospital only three days out of critical care.  She was just taking her first bites of solid food (which she couldn't hold down), she was still in severe pain, she couldn't get up and walk by herself, lives alone and is almost 77.  I was astonished and furious that they wanted to throw her out when she was clearly not able to care for herself.  I was not going to let that happen.

There are things in life that are just wrong and we can't let them go unchallenged.  Now my frail, old mother is not going to change the world anytime soon, but that does not mean that her life is without value.  Our Lord died specifically for her.  She bears the image of God and the value He placed on her is the life of His own Son.  And He placed that value not on her alone.  The unborn and the dying, the poor and the rich, young and old, we all have value in His eyes.  We are all worth fighting for.

Our country has become so apathetic, so inwardly focused, so comfort oriented that we are losing sight of our worth.  Mom and I have had our struggles but as I allowed myself to see her not as mom but as child of God, her value as an eternal woman transcended my temporal issues with her.  As I prayed quietly with her in the ICU, it felt timeless and holy.  Christ was present and His perspective became mine.  It was about Him, not me, not my being displaced from my work or husband, not my lack of sleep, not what I wanted but what He valued.  And, so, I had to fight a battle that I knew He would for a child He loves.

There is the old adage, "all it takes for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing."  Who fights for you or for whom do you fight?  What is your battle and what struggles do you see?  I fought with a doctor, hospital and insurance company and won.  Mom went to a rehab center and has been there five days.  She is slowly getting better.  She was worth fighting for.  You and I are worth fighting for and so is everyone with whom we lock eyes today.  Do you know how precious you are?  Do you see others as precious as well?  Will you fight for them, can we fight for you?

Which world, Mom

I am waiting for news of whether or not my mother will survive her surgery today.  Right now it does not look good.  There are so many emotions present and my mind is travelling through the years with her looking for a place to land. So many memories.

Our relationships with our moms, even as grown women, continue to effect our lives today.  Whether mom was wonderful or awful, close or not there, affirming or tearing down she has affected our core. 

My sister calls to tell me that mom is now on a respirator and she will call with news, good or bad whenever it happens.  So I wait.  And I pray.  I ask God to forgive me for the times I was not there for her and could have been.  I give over bits of unforgiveness and pain.  I think of her and what life must have been from her perspective.  I grief for her and her losses.  And I am comforted to know that should she die, she will be free.  I wonder what she will look like free of her own core hurts, free of her aging body, and regrets and pains.  I try to imagine her with Christ whole and joyful and knowing His love fully.  And then I imagine each of us seeing one another in the next life. I believe we will rejoice together and celebrate our lives with Christ, no longer mother and daughter but sisters in our Lord. 

And, so I wait to hear in which world I will see her again.

Within the ranks

In college, we were shown Women's Ministry brochures from churches all over the country.  As I read through them I felt a deep grief within.  There were invitations to crafting, social events, teas, and luncheons. There were games and classes on being a better wife or mother.  Only two had Bible studies and neither had much depth.  None had a mention of knowing more of Christ, going deeper with Him, finding oneself through Him and living for Him. This was what was being offered to daughters of the Living God to help them grow.

My experience in the church is that there is a silent, thoughtful, disillusioned group of women sitting unnoticed among the crowd.  They feel as if they are the only ones that aren't fitting in with the women's ministry agenda, look and feel.  They don't belong, they don't get it, they don't want it.  But where is the alternative to crafts and teas and fluff for a woman who longs for Christ, longs for relevance, longs for deep connection?

A church I attended offered a retreat with a woman speaker who wore an octopus on her head and talked about tentacles of faith.  I was offended by the offering. My pastor urged me to go and I asked him why when what was being said to me was that women are child-like, little was expected of them in terms of maturity and depth and impacting the world for Christ.  I told him that when the men's retreat featured a speaker in a full pirate outfit, including eye-patch, and the men were being taught to say, "argh," and how to have pirate faith then I would consider it. 

I've included a link to an article that is bringing out these hidden women and their thoughts about what Women's Ministry offers them today: http://blog.christianitytoday.com/giftedforleadership/2007/08/why_i_dont_do_womens_ministry.html

I encourage everyone to read this article and especially the comments.  If we are to have a life that dares to live through and for Christ then discussions such as this are absolutely essential.  Once we come forth and voice our thoughts and longings and hear each other confirm that they also feel the same way, then we can start to come up with solutions for a true community of women in Christ.  We can design something for the rest of us.  We can think outside the box.  We could even have inspiring, life-changing relationships with one another around the world here on the web.  We could even...

Extracting the Precious

In the book of Jeremiah, which I have just finished, the Lord says to "extract the precious from the worthless."  I had to stop after reading that and process it a bit. The phrase has stuck with me and now I am looking at all aspects of my life through this phrase. 

The mindset assumes that there are things of value within that we just have to recognize and extract.  I believe I am finding that in each area of my life there are things of deep value waiting to be recognized and brought forth. Where I used to see the dirty, toe-stubbing rock I now see the jewels waiting to be set free and treasured.  I am looking for precious gems in my daily tasks, mundane routines, relationship struggles, failures and mistakes, every book I read, every conversation I have.  There is gold in them thar hills, all I need to do is look for it. 

It is amazing the change of heart that takes place when we set out to see what is good and of value rather than what is wrong and worthless. Life becomes filled with possibilities and opportunities and hope and dreams come to life here.  Discoveries become the norm and what is precious is suddenly everywhere.  What we saw as worthless, dirty rocks bring forth delightful treasures.  I am going to become a collector.

A different fashion statement.

My son just returned from another mission to Afghanistan.  He was first in after 9/11 and this was his 6th mission to the region.  He has chosen to serve as a career and continues to train and learn and become an increasingly expert soldier.  He has to because his life and possibly ours are at stake. 

Last time I visited he took me on the base and he showed me his "bird."  I tried on his helmet and gear and talked about being prepared and keeping safe but also of the offensive aspects of the work.  He has some pretty amazing tools at his disposal that he can use if attacked. He is ready for war both defensive and offensive.

God says to put on our armor daily.  Afterall, we live in a spiritual war zone, so we should expect to be shot at.  Our enemy is relentless in his attacks and I need all the tools God gives me to be prepared, trained up, and know how to be safe in my mind and heart.  I look at the picture of this woman and think, that is how I need to see myself: confident, equipped, prepared, ready to go anywhere I am sent and knowing that this is a war for hearts and minds and for life itself.  And, I imagine a whole platoon of women just like this.  All of us ready, all of us supporting one another, all of us in the battle with the Lord for something so much bigger than our individual lives - for His kingdom.  Dress as we want on the outside but inside let us be warriors.

An Untapped Resource

What is growing inside you?  It could be an idea, an unused talent or a truly new you.  What is it?  What might it be?  I meet so many women who have yet to birth that something wonderful that is uniquely theirs: creativity hidden away waiting for "some day," wisdom building up like water behind a barrier before it spills over, leaders who fear leading because of their gender, hidden strength and skills, unseen passion and purpose.  Trapped inside is often the true woman who doesn't know how or that it is okay to come out. 

Many of us are continually pregnant with who we are supposed to be but never give birth.  What would it be like if you and I and every woman we knew was suddently set free to show up fully as themselves?  What if we stopped thinking whether we should and just did it?  How about if we just trusted God's design for us and dared to live it?

I want to know, really know the women I meet.  I want to see all of us come forth into a world that desperately needs us to show up with the passion, talents, temperament and impact that is only possible when we live His design for us and we do it completely. 

You can't do it

I was talking with a friend a few minutes ago and her inner critic has been acting up.  It has been telling her, "You'll never be able to do it."  She is working on starting up her business but the continual accusation from the critic is causing her doubt and draining her energy.  I asked her what "it" is.  "It" is the whole thing - the finished product, the marketing, getting clients, setting up her web site, being prosperous.  Ah.  Let's back up.

See our woman climber?  I can't do what she is doing.  I don't know how, I don't have the gear, I don't have the stamina or strength.  I don't know where or how to grab hold and how to even pick the route to the top.  And safety - I could really hurt myself doing it. I can't do it.  But....I can research climbing.  I can learn about gear and find instructors.  I can start to exercise, lift weights to build my strenth and go to a climbing gym to practice safely.  I can do a ton of small steps that would all add up to my standing on the top one day if that is what I determine I want to do. 

As we broke "it" into small, obtainable, easy pieces we found that my friend could start to move forward without the critic.  She is able to do the small steps and as she is successful on each one she will find renewed confidence and excitement as she sees her goal close at hand and "it" will become reality.

I tell my inner critic thanks for pointing out that I need to attend to the details and then to be quiet as I do.  I celebrate each small accomplishment and even failures because I have learned from them and both move me closer to my goals.  I don't let the critic inside steal my life or the moments of my days.