Sometime today my son will call and say "goodbye" in case he does not come back. It will be the 7th time he has made this "death call" as he names it. Each time we talk a bit, we say that we love one another and I tell him that I am proud of him. He always says, "Mom, I will be coming home, I just don't know which home it will be." Tomorrow he leaves for another tour of duty.
After each of these calls I go to my room to be with the Lord. I say that I trust God with my son's, His son's life. I say that He is good no matter what happens in life and that He brings good from all situations. This is when I come away with Him to see if what I say with my mouth is what my heart truly believes. Can I truly release the outcome of my son's life to God? So far, after all these death calls, I have come from my room with peace.
I don't worry about my son when he is gone, but I continue to pray. I pray that whatever comes his way only causes him to move closer to God. I pray that others will see Christ in him and that he has opportunity to bring others to the Lord. I pray for his family and that they will find peace in between phone calls and emails and joy in hearing from him. I pray for a safe return if it is God's will and that He be glorified if that return is not to this home but to God's.
God is good. I trust Him with my son's life and that whatever the outcome of this journey that I will continue to believe that He is. Each of these death calls is a test of my faith and an opportunity for a greater commitment to my God. I would say that it is the same for all of us.
Every "death call" that life brings us is a test to see whether what we say with our mouths is what our hearts actually believe. Every heartache, trial, every pressure placed on us is an opportunity to come away with the Lord and look in our hearts. If what we find there needs to grow in faith then He is right there to help us. He is our ever present help in time of trouble, the comforter and protector of our hearts, the peace that passes all understanding, the rest that we at times so desperately need.
The phone will ring and my son and I will affirm our believe that God is good and present with us both. As he travels, God goes with him and is also here with me. Each day He will be the source of strength and peace and joy for both of us. He will connect our hearts across the thousands of miles and I will wait in peace knowing that not only is God good but He is completely and utterly trustworthly with all our lives both here on earth and in the life to come.
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