Downright Daring Life

Which world, Mom

I am waiting for news of whether or not my mother will survive her surgery today.  Right now it does not look good.  There are so many emotions present and my mind is travelling through the years with her looking for a place to land. So many memories.

Our relationships with our moms, even as grown women, continue to effect our lives today.  Whether mom was wonderful or awful, close or not there, affirming or tearing down she has affected our core. 

My sister calls to tell me that mom is now on a respirator and she will call with news, good or bad whenever it happens.  So I wait.  And I pray.  I ask God to forgive me for the times I was not there for her and could have been.  I give over bits of unforgiveness and pain.  I think of her and what life must have been from her perspective.  I grief for her and her losses.  And I am comforted to know that should she die, she will be free.  I wonder what she will look like free of her own core hurts, free of her aging body, and regrets and pains.  I try to imagine her with Christ whole and joyful and knowing His love fully.  And then I imagine each of us seeing one another in the next life. I believe we will rejoice together and celebrate our lives with Christ, no longer mother and daughter but sisters in our Lord. 

And, so I wait to hear in which world I will see her again.

Within the ranks

In college, we were shown Women's Ministry brochures from churches all over the country.  As I read through them I felt a deep grief within.  There were invitations to crafting, social events, teas, and luncheons. There were games and classes on being a better wife or mother.  Only two had Bible studies and neither had much depth.  None had a mention of knowing more of Christ, going deeper with Him, finding oneself through Him and living for Him. This was what was being offered to daughters of the Living God to help them grow.

My experience in the church is that there is a silent, thoughtful, disillusioned group of women sitting unnoticed among the crowd.  They feel as if they are the only ones that aren't fitting in with the women's ministry agenda, look and feel.  They don't belong, they don't get it, they don't want it.  But where is the alternative to crafts and teas and fluff for a woman who longs for Christ, longs for relevance, longs for deep connection?

A church I attended offered a retreat with a woman speaker who wore an octopus on her head and talked about tentacles of faith.  I was offended by the offering. My pastor urged me to go and I asked him why when what was being said to me was that women are child-like, little was expected of them in terms of maturity and depth and impacting the world for Christ.  I told him that when the men's retreat featured a speaker in a full pirate outfit, including eye-patch, and the men were being taught to say, "argh," and how to have pirate faith then I would consider it. 

I've included a link to an article that is bringing out these hidden women and their thoughts about what Women's Ministry offers them today: http://blog.christianitytoday.com/giftedforleadership/2007/08/why_i_dont_do_womens_ministry.html

I encourage everyone to read this article and especially the comments.  If we are to have a life that dares to live through and for Christ then discussions such as this are absolutely essential.  Once we come forth and voice our thoughts and longings and hear each other confirm that they also feel the same way, then we can start to come up with solutions for a true community of women in Christ.  We can design something for the rest of us.  We can think outside the box.  We could even have inspiring, life-changing relationships with one another around the world here on the web.  We could even...

A different fashion statement.

My son just returned from another mission to Afghanistan.  He was first in after 9/11 and this was his 6th mission to the region.  He has chosen to serve as a career and continues to train and learn and become an increasingly expert soldier.  He has to because his life and possibly ours are at stake. 

Last time I visited he took me on the base and he showed me his "bird."  I tried on his helmet and gear and talked about being prepared and keeping safe but also of the offensive aspects of the work.  He has some pretty amazing tools at his disposal that he can use if attacked. He is ready for war both defensive and offensive.

God says to put on our armor daily.  Afterall, we live in a spiritual war zone, so we should expect to be shot at.  Our enemy is relentless in his attacks and I need all the tools God gives me to be prepared, trained up, and know how to be safe in my mind and heart.  I look at the picture of this woman and think, that is how I need to see myself: confident, equipped, prepared, ready to go anywhere I am sent and knowing that this is a war for hearts and minds and for life itself.  And, I imagine a whole platoon of women just like this.  All of us ready, all of us supporting one another, all of us in the battle with the Lord for something so much bigger than our individual lives - for His kingdom.  Dress as we want on the outside but inside let us be warriors.

An Untapped Resource

What is growing inside you?  It could be an idea, an unused talent or a truly new you.  What is it?  What might it be?  I meet so many women who have yet to birth that something wonderful that is uniquely theirs: creativity hidden away waiting for "some day," wisdom building up like water behind a barrier before it spills over, leaders who fear leading because of their gender, hidden strength and skills, unseen passion and purpose.  Trapped inside is often the true woman who doesn't know how or that it is okay to come out. 

Many of us are continually pregnant with who we are supposed to be but never give birth.  What would it be like if you and I and every woman we knew was suddently set free to show up fully as themselves?  What if we stopped thinking whether we should and just did it?  How about if we just trusted God's design for us and dared to live it?

I want to know, really know the women I meet.  I want to see all of us come forth into a world that desperately needs us to show up with the passion, talents, temperament and impact that is only possible when we live His design for us and we do it completely.